* This same information (below) is also on a page titled Welcome. This is the only instance of exact content duplication in the blog.

Someone you love has died and you are hurting. You are grieving and I’m glad you’re here visiting the Loving Farewells blog.

Grief is the natural reaction to the loss of something or someone you love. It is a process that is painful, can be confusing and is often exhausting.

The death of your loved one may have happened months or even years ago. Or it may have happened within the past few days or weeks. To survive your sorrow it’s important that you experience your feelings of grief and not push them aside. Because you are here right now, you are ready.

Your feelings have probably been painfully overwhelming, so you know this won’t be easy. Surrendering to the process of grief and your feelings moves you ahead through sadness and tears until you eventually reach understanding, acceptance, and hope for your future. In the cycle of life and death, grief is the connector between death and the return to life. Grieving is hard work but, I know you can do it.

If your loved one died because of a terminal illness, you have been in your grief process already. You have been grieving in anticipation of your loved one’s death. However, you may have been so busy caring for your loved one that you weren’t much aware of your grief other than perhaps a deep sadness hiding in your heart.

If the death of your loved one happened because of an accident, suicide or crime and therefore was completely unexpected, you began your grief process when you received the shocking sad news.

Your loved one may have died in war. You were most likely aware of the possibility of their death and may have prayed daily for their safety. Days were probably filled with both anxiety and hope. On the day you received the tragic news of your loved one’s death, your grief became real.

You may be feeling very alone right now – just you and the pain. I assure you that you don’t have to journey through your grief alone. Loving Farewells is here to support you as you grieve. I encourage you to embrace your feelings of grief and not try to ignore them. I’m here to believe with you that you can and will survive this sad and painful time.

Sincerely sending you Peace, Love & Creativity,

Tricia

The experience of grief is often described like waves coming into shore from the ocean. But instead of comfy warm or coolly refreshing water, the waves of grief washing over you are full of pain and anguish.

Unlike ocean waves that wash up on the beach at regular rhythmic intervals, waves of grief are initially unpredictable and can wash over you with no warning. Often waves of grief arrive when you least expect them and at times you feel unprepared for strong painful emotions.

Sometimes you may be able to identify what has triggered a wave of grief. It may be certain music or the smell of favorite foods. It could be the smell of particular flowers, perfume or aftershave. Hearing the theme music of a television show or driving by certain places can trigger intense feelings of grief too.

You may want to control your exposure to some of the triggers you have identified. For example, you can choose temporarily to not listen to the radio, CDs or your iPod. You could avoid the section of the mall where the cookies are baking or change the route you are driving for awhile.

Your actions will depend on what triggers you have identified. You have the right to protect yourself from some of your intense feelings of grief at times. Sometimes, in order to experience especially painful feelings, it can be wise to give yourself a break from others. Too many emotions all at once can be overwhelming, disheartening and paralyzing.

Of course there will be times when waves of grief will wash over you, threatening to drown you in sadness and tears, without warning and without an identifiable trigger. At these times the most you can do to control or prepare is to have tissues with you and, if possible, allow your tears to flow freely.

I’m sure you have heard the expression a “good cry”. I believe the person who coined that phrase did so because of how good they felt after crying. Tears are part of our excretory system and a natural means of eliminating pain and sadness from our hearts, souls and bodies.

Allow yourself to cry during this very sad time. Holding back your tears is not a sign of strength nor will it assist you in feeling better sooner.

Sincerely sending you Peace & Love,

Tricia

Grief is the natural response to the death of a loved one, but “natural” does not mean the process will be easy. However, in the midst of the turmoil and sadness in your life right now, you do have at least one thing going for you that can ease your way.

And that “one thing” is; you are in control of your unique grief process.

During your loved ones death and/or at the time of their death you had no control of the situation. You probably wished you could halt a disease process or find the cure. You may have wished you could have prevented your loved one from leaving home that day or taking that particular route to their destination. The reality was, though, other forces were in place that were beyond your control. You probably felt weak and powerless.

Now, as you are grieving, you are back in control and can influence an outcome for yourself. You can take a drive in the country because you want to see the beauty of wildflowers in bloom. You can accept or decline an invitation from a friend for dinner. You can decide to watch a comedy movie because you want to laugh or a sad movie because you need to cry.

The control you have in your journey of grief is both a gift and a responsibility. The gift is that you can begin to feel your power and strength again. The responsibility is to accept your feelings and fears and face them bravely. When you consciously face your feelings of grief, you do so not only for yourself but also for the people you love who are still alive with you.

Although Loving Farewells and others can help and support you during this difficult and painful time, you are the only one who can take the steps to survive and go on thriving in your life in a healthy and positive way.

I congratulate you for your bravery in being here right now reading these words. You are taking an important step in your healing. I hope you recognize this and can acknowledge your courage and strength.

You are on your way. You will do well.

Sincerely sending you Peace & Love,

Tricia