Sorrowful thoughts
Sometimes we hear or read a message in our bereavement and immediately understand as the message ‘clicks’ within us. At other times we hear or read the same message and it goes in one ear and out the other. There are two major reasons we are, at times, able to grasp a message during grief while at other times aren’t able to internalize its wisdom.
The first reason has to do with timing. At a particular moment in time the content of a message won’t be appropriate for your growth through grief and your unconscious protects and prevents you from hearing it. Conversely, at the right time, the message will be exactly what you need to hear and you will immediately let it in and begin to apply the information to your life. It will be like an emotional hunger satisfied with healthy food.
The second reason is about the language and flavor of the message. This has to do with the vocabulary chosen by the author of a message and how he/she uses the words to communicate. We all have a preferred manner of using words in talking, writing and also in listening.
When the style of a written message is more similar to the reader’s style of listening, then the possibility for understanding and internalization is higher. So the words being used and the style of the writing in a message of bereavement support (or any kind of message) can influence whether or not and how much you open up to the message.
I always send (and re-send) the message to grievers about tears and the healing importance of allowing yourself to cry. I offer it again, now, from different authors with their unique word choices and style of writing. This message is part of a meditation-of-the-day service offered by a wonderful and thoughtful Native American site, White Bison, and used with permission.
Elder’s Meditation of the Day - September 30, 2007
“Don’t be afraid to cry. It will free your mind of sorrowful thoughts.”
- Don Talayesva, HOPI
“Human beings function from choice. We can choose to stuff things, or we can choose to let go of things. If we choose to stuff things, then we will feel a heaviness, or sorrow, self pity or fear. Sometimes we feel the need to cry. Sometimes we are taught it is not okay to cry. The creator designed the human being to cry. Crying is a release. This release allows us to let go of thoughts that are not helping us so we can open to new thoughts that will help. Crying is natural for women and men.”
“Grandfather, if I need to cry, let me realize it’s a natural process and help me to let go.”
It is OK, necessary and sometimes scary for both men and women to cry during grief. I encourage your courage and the tearful expression of your sorrow.
Sincerely sending you Peace, Love & Creativity,
Tricia