Greeting the holidays with new traditions
The holidays I am addressing include the American holidays of Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. These holidays are in my tradition & experience and I can honestly write about them.
Certainly I honor the holiday traditions of other cultures but am not able to authentically write about them relative to grief. Perhaps YOU can and will use the Comments function at the end of this post to share your knowledge and insights?
As this holiday season approaches you may have a heavy heart since it may be the first time you celebrate the holidays without your loved one.
As you know, any day can be emotionally challenging during grief. For most of us, though, the holidays are different from any days because they focus so intently on togetherness, love, family, goodness and joy. Any of these are sensitive issues during grief.
The holidays also seem to come with expectations involving traveling, shopping, cooking, greeting cards, decorating, dressing up, parties, extra church activities and etc. Any of these activities could require more energy than a griever can access.
“How will I survive the holidays this year?” is a question in the minds and hearts of many during their grief right now. The answer I offer is to make a plan for the specific approaching holiday. The previous post, Planning for the Holidays during Grief, gives info about the how, why and what of greeting a holiday with a plan. The primary benefit of having a plan is that you won’t be unnecessarily overwhelmed on the holiday.
Sometimes the plan is to keep all your holiday traditions intact. Sometimes the plan is to make changes in holiday traditions. Changes you make this holiday season won’t automatically become new traditions.
For those of you who are interested in making changes to your holiday activities, below are some possibilities. These are merely ideas intended to get you started thinking about changes comfortable for you and/or your family.
* have your holiday meal at a different home
* have your holiday meal at a different time
* have your holiday meal at a restaurant
* change the menu for your holiday meal
* re-arrange the usual seating plan for the meal
* invite new people to share in your holiday meal
* change the “dress code” for your holiday meal
* attend a church service related to the holiday
* help serve a holiday meal at a shelter
* decide not to exchange gifts this year
* collect the money that would have been spent on gifts & donate to charity
* collect the money that would have been spent on gifts & buy toys for a children’s group
* put up a different type and/or size Christmas tree
* use different decorations & lights on the Christmas tree
* initiate or join a holiday caroling group
* decide not to send greeting cards this year
* decide to send greeting cards this year
* play different renditions of your favorite carols
* discover a new Christmas carol to share
* travel to a vacation spot for the holiday
* sleep through new year’s eve
* stay up to see the new year’s eve “ball drop”
* don’t make a list of new year’s resolutions
Please share any ideas you have for making changes to your holiday traditions in the Comments part of this post. Your ideas and feelings can be really helpful to another in their journey through the holidays.
Sincerely sending you Peace, Love & Creativity,
Tricia